Most of us accept our processed food without ever looking too hard at the list of ingredients on the side of the box, bag or can, probably because said list looks like a passage out of the Necronomicon.
Basically, “Twinkie, Deconstructed” originated from one man’s refusal to back down in the face of a chemical. The book’s origins trace back to a summer outing the author spent with his offspring. He had bought his kids ice cream bars, and his daughter wanted to know what Polysorbate 60 was. In fact, that single question is the fork in the road for potential readers. Do you want to know what Polysorbate 60 is?
So I’ve done a bit of thinking about this article. Should I write about the latest spring trends to come? The colors of the season? The fact that wood accessories are SO in right now it’s not even funny? I’ve done plenty on women’s health, handbags, and more types of birth control than I can count. However, I realized my biggest mistake. Instead of bombarding you with the facts of Plan B and the NuvaRing, I forgot the best birth control of them all. The one that never fails is completely cost and hormone free and the one birth control that the Catholic Church approves. Abstinence. I know, I’m a total party-pooper, right? No sex? I’m not completely off my rocker, I promise. I wouldn’t say that I promote abstinence in all cases. If you know me, you know that I think sex is fabulous exercise, it feels amazing, a great way to connect with your monogamous partner, and did I mention how good it feels?
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Back around 1998 or so, the Adelphia Cable Corporation accidentally wired our house for roughly triple the amount of channels we were actually paying for. In addition to being the catalyst for today’s subject, this also serves as a microcosmic example of why internal error beats external effort every time. Anybody can steal cable. Not every cable company can claim that it gave the Paquet family forty free channels for half a decade without noticing. R.I.P., Adelphia.
Television is often credited as one of the more influential aspects of youth, and this is understandable. When you’re a kid, your world is limited to whatever you can get to within half an hour’s walk from your house. Television takes you to magical, wondrous places, like the Nickelodeon sound stage where they taped “Legends of the Hidden Temple.” Words cannot do justice to the premise of a kids’ game show hosted by a random guy and a talking rubber monolith. Perhaps the scariest part of all is that the kids who couldn’t put the three-piece Silver Monkey statue together are now old enough to vote.