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OK, babies, let’s get this tree decked, lit and it’s gonna be a hit— Tape Martha into a chair, feed her a shot, and let’s get busy.
This is going to be pretty expensive, but it’ll be worth it — but we won’t need any ornaments or tinsel, so that’s a savings —
OK, an eight foot spruce tree is about right — around the bottom are arrayed various toy vehicles (everything must be to scale!) ambulances, police cars, fire engines, maybe a crane or two, tow trucks, other regular cars, vans and trucks to create a huge traffic jam —
OK, yes, I know there’s no room for gifts, just toss them on the couch.
We also need various toy equipment like search lights, etc. Add to this various military vehicles, and little army men, ya know the green plastic kind (everything to scale!) The idea is to create a massive scene of chaos and panic. Now overhead, hanging from the ceiling are various fighter planes, slanted in a menacing, attacking way , firing their machine guns, missiles, etc. About a half dozen should do fine. And let’s get a helicopter or two up there just for good measure. We can paint a T.V. logo on one of them, right?
OK, now the center of all this controversy, chaos and panic is of course, none other than KING KONG, (ya know, the 1930s movie), who at this very moment is scaling this tree, he’s about a little over half way up, holding on to a branch with one hand, and clutching an angel with the other. Just like the movie, Kong has broken his chains, and is plenty pissed off, letting off steam, and trying to escape his captors. On his way he snatches up the angel, (Fay Wray in the movie) ( She’s the only one who understands him, and he trusts her) ( (Fay is not an “angel” in the movie, just a trashy showbiz groupie, have you seen the movie? Ask your mom and dad, but it’s Christmas, and this works), Now, the angel is quite distressed, understandably so, so it’s important we find an angel doll that does not have a goofy, beatific expression, and if we have to we’ll find a way to wipe that smirk off.
OK, we’re done — now if the lighting is strong and dramatic enough, we should be able to turn off most of the house lights, and there you have it —
Quite a powerful, beautiful, scene, if we do it right… and after all is said and done, it was beauty, yes beauty that killed the beast.
OK, good night and good luck, God bless us, every one, ho, ho ho, hee hee hee.
Somebody untie Martha.
CAFÉ BORGIA
12 oz instant cocoa mix
12 C fresh perked coffee
Whipped cream
Grated orange peel
Stir cocoa into coffee, mix well. Top with whipped cream and grated orange peel.